I’m officially experiencing culture shock

Here are my current issues:

1. I’m dissatisfied with certain aspects of my job. I won’t go into details, but suffice it to say, at this point in time, I highly doubt I’ll be teaching at this school next year. Will I remain in Turkey, or Ankara, for that matter? That remains to be seen.

2. I hate living in the dorms, especially after waking up this morning, going into the kitchen, and discovering that our kitchen had been used. The trash can was full and there were empty plastic dessert containers on the table. However, I don’t want to pay rent while I’m in Turkey. I’d rather use my paycheck to save money, pay my student loans, and travel.

3. The other American teachers and I opened a Turkish bank account on October 4, but at the writing of this blog, I still don’t have a bank card. Last week, we were informed that our order had been put in. Group 1 will get their cards sometime this week and Group 2 will get them next week. Guess which group I’m in? Yep! Group 2. Awesome. That, dear readers, means that any travel plans I’d like to make for the end of November (ie Russell Brand in Istanbul) will require a) waiting for my card to come in, or b) finding locations around Ankara where I can buy my plane and event tickets and pay cash. Oh, and to top it all off: I’m more of a reactive than proactive person.

4. I sat in my room on a four-day weekend when I should have gone somewhere, even if it was around Ankara. And yet, where am I now on my ½ day? In my room, writing this blog.

5. The school Internet connection stopped working at 4:00 p.m. yesterday. It worked for about two hours this morning and stopped working again. Obviously it is now working since I’m able to post this, but who knows how long this will last?
I’m trying not to take it out on the people around me (ie, my co-workers, my student), but it hasn’t been easy. It’s difficult not to lose my temper when, for instance, 15 minutes into class a student says “Teacher, can I go to bathroom?” This same student was absent in the previous hour and had a 10-minute break just prior to my class. There was your bathroom time right there, Sparky. You can go in your pants for all I care. Or, you can be a big boy and wait until the next 10-minute break.

I have now become elitist in my classroom practices. My room was already set up in a horseshoe shape. But now I have an inner horseshoe and an outer horseshoe, which is what I’ve wanted to do for weeks. The students who are focused and want to work are in the inner horseshoe. The rest are part of the outer horseshoe. I removed some students who were in the inner horseshoe because they just sat there.

None of these issues would be so bad if they came at me one at a time. Instead, they’re all hitting me at the same time, leaving me feeling completely defeated. Now, if you will excuse me, I’m going to do some emotional eating and maybe later I’ll cry myself to sleep. OOOH, or since I currently have Internet, I can watch the saddest 20 minutes of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, part 2. At least then, I can hide behind the movie as the reason for my tears.

Oh happy day!!! I got my coffee back!

About a month ago, I purchased a French press from a kitchen store at the mall. Yesterday, it broke before I even got to have my coffee. *sad face*

Today, I went grocery shopping, and the store had a coffee grinder AND a heat-resistant French press. Mornings are back in business. Now, I like you Turkey, but I will have my coffee or you and I are gonna fight! WWE-style, baby!

A PhD is in my future

The more I consider it, the more I believe a PhD is in my future. I'm interested in studying Curriculum and Development, but I'm also interested in doing Comparative International Education.

Okay, here's the thing. I've been contemplating a PhD since I was an undergraduate. What I can I say? I love school in a way I never thought was possible. But the problem was: which field should I choose? If I were to get a PhD in Spanish, I could only ever teach Spanish. If I were to choose History...same problem.

Fast-forward to my tenure at my last job. Nancy Cheek, the woman who was in charge of curriculum at my last job, suggested I get a PhD in Curriculum and Instruction like she had, since it pays well. I won't lie, I'd love a bigger salary. However, as nice as money is, I need more motivation than that to choose a field.

If you've read my October 1 blog entry, you've seen the difficulties I've had in my classroom here in Turkey. I'm also frustrated with the way the curriculum at this school, and possibly this country, is geared to teach to the test rather than teach the actual content. So now, that begs the question: what can I as an educator do? The answer: get a PhD in Curriculum and Instruction. If I have the qualifications and experience, I can be the one changing the way things are done at a school, provided that I have a supportive administrative staff backing me up.

Tuesday – Izmir, day 2 (but really Ephesus), part 1

I took 72 pictures in Ephesus, so I’m going to pick the highlights and split the blog entry into two. Sort of like what was done with the final Harry Potter film.

It’s strange that I didn’t feel compelled to take pictures from Ankara to Izmir. I only felt compelled to take frequent naps, which I know will come as a shock to those who know me (sarcasm.) However, I did take photos as we got closer to Ephesus. The countryside was just to beautiful to refrain.

As a photographic bonus, there was a castle in Sulçuk. Aaron pulled the car over, and we all got out and took photos.

A few minutes later, we decided to stop for lunch while we were still in Sulçuk. I ordered my old stand-by, Adana Kebap, a tasty, spiced, grilled meat kebab. While we were eating lunch, the police caught a fugitive in a nearby park. Ooh, we got dinner and a show!

The three of us noticed that for the first time since our arrival in Turkey, we were completely surrounded by patrons who were also native English speakers. At the table behind us, there were four American teachers who also taught in Ankara. At the table next to us, there were three people from Australia. The table over our left shoulder also had Americans, but we didn’t talk to them. We were too busy feeding the stray cats who wandered over to our table, begging for scraps. As we walked back to the car, we saw this statue in what looked like a roundabout/traffic circle. Picture time!

And now, without further adieu, I give you: Ephesus!

Great Theatre – which could hold up to 25,000 spectators

Library of Celsus

A better view of the library from further away

The ruins were crawling with stray cats, but this little guy was the cutest.

Then there was this girl, who came to Ephesus as an incognito version of Wonder Woman. Carly’s theory is the guy she was with said “We’re going on a date.” She got all gussied up, thinking that they were going to a nice dinner and maybe some dancing. But no, he brought her here to tour ruins. Maybe they’ll go bowling afterwards.

Okay, that’s the end of Ephesus, part 1. See you soon for part 2.

The good, the bad, and the chicken

I had one plus and one minus today:

Plus: With the exception of two or three items, I wrote almost my entire shopping list in Turkish.

Minus: I ate KFC. *sigh* And, God help me, it was delicious. I knew it was a matter of time before I scarfed American fast food. In fact, at the writing of this blog, I’m just four days from the two-month anniversary of my arrival in Turkey. I’m proud to have lasted this long without consuming American food. (I’m not counting the Starbucks coffee that I have in my house and at the office.)

Still, a pretty nice first day back from vacation. Check out the view from food court of the Cepa mall in Ankara, a mall that prompted Carly to say about the Armada mall, “We live near the crap mall.” I agree with that; Cepa has more stores and variety.

P.S. I know I still haven't blogged or posted photos of my vacation, but that will take some time. I have a lot of photos to filter through, then I want to guide my readers through what each photo is of. I'm a storyteller, just give me a chance to tell the story.

Izmir - Day 1

My co-workers Aaron, Carly, and I set off from Ankara to Izmir on Sunday afternoon, making Monday our first full day in Izmir. After a free breakfast at the hotel, we set out to see:

The clock tower, designed by a French architect and built in 1901.

We then went for lunch at this chain restaurant, Kahve something. It's basically a cafe that sells various coffee drinks but also has food.

Hello, mantı, we meet again.

Next up was the Aegean Sea. While we were enjoying the view, the sun, and the nice breeze, Aaron purchased a cup of tea from the man who was balancing a tray of tea, glasses, and sugar while he negotiated the rocks on the waterfront (drinking-tea, not smoking-tea). Aaron kindly let me have a sip and I decided I’d like some tea as well. Carly and I tried to call the tea-man back, but that older gentleman was traveling much faster than we could. So I was satisfied to simply drink my bottled water, wondering how long that man’s been hopping across those rocks, selling hot tea on a tray.

the view of the sea, the mountains, and the highway below the pedestrian walkway.

Carly and Aaron

The view of Izmir from the sea.

We looked to our left and saw ferries departing. We decided to catch the ferry to Karşiaka. We boarded the boat and made a beeline for the back.

Once we were on our way, I started singing “A Piece of Sky” from Yentl. I couldn’t help it; it was the effect of the rippling water behind me.

That's all for today. My next blog will talk about the ruins of the ancient city of Ephesus.

How do you stop caring?

Of the five classes I teach, two classes are full of students who are repeating their English class for that particular level. After only two weeks with these classes, I feel defeated. I feel, as I said on Facebook, like I’m pushing an elephant up a hill.

Every time I walk into my class and try to teach, I’m met with a class, half of whom are relatively focused, and the other half who are….the complete opposite. The students who occupy the back row for my Monday & Tuesday class sit in the back of, talking, laughing, eating, and checking their phones. They do everything but their assignment. When I try to engage them in a discussion, they stare blankly. While it’s tempting to attribute it to a language barrier, their English levels are high enough to understand what I’m asking.

I’ve given up trying to stand up in front of them two days a week, attempting to teach them. My new tactic today was to give them their assignment then put them to work while I entered in their homework grades.

This is not a new issue to me. I’ve been teaching for six years and have met up with my fair share of students who had no desire to do anything. But usually, it was a student here or there. In my C-peats, it’s an epidemic. It makes me want to sob, but I know it’s not my fault. This situation was here before I was.

EFL vs ESL

At least when I taught ESL (English as a Second Language), my students attended our Intensive English Program (IEP) with a view to moving on to an American university. In that situation, I had the benefit of high stakes to hold over my students. “Yes, you might pass the TOEFL, but when you get to university, you also need to be able to understand what your professors are saying.”
I don’t have that option with EFL (English as a Foreign Language) students. Once they pass the TOEFL, they will move on to a university where their classes will be taught in their native language, but the textbooks will be in English. They don’t need to be able to speak or listen to English in order to be successful in their program.

And so, dear readers, I have given up. I haven’t thrown in the towel or waved my white flag on everything. I have merely given up trying to help the students who have made it clear that they don’t want my help. I have to focus my efforts on those who still want to learn. They do exist in my classes, even among my C-peats; they’re merely in the minority.